Looking Forward

SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My BFF Julie and her fiance John are coming to DC on Saturday. He's coming to visit a friend of his and that means I get 2 full GIRL DAYS!! She's my first visitor since I've been here, and since I don't really have any girlfriends here, I just can't wait to see her.

Saturday we'll probably do a little walking around then some bar hopping in Georgetown for the night. Sunday after brunch (and a little hair of the dog I'm guessing) we'll visit the monuments.

We'll take TONS of pictures and I think this will do wonders for my mood.

Light the Night Walk

Hi all! I'm still unemployed, but thought I'd try and raise a little money for a good cause in my new city of Washington, DC! My girlfriend Erin is coming down from NYC to walk for her aunt and I want to help her cause.

Finding better treatments and cures for blood cancers so patients can live better, longer lives through The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Light The Night Walk.

I'm asking you to help by making a small contribution (seriously, EVEN $5)!

Please use the link below to donate online quickly & securely.

You will receive an email confirmation of your donation as soon as it is made. I thank you in advance for your support which will make a difference in the lives of thousands of patients battling blood cancers. I really appreciate your generosity!!

http://pages.lightthenight.org/nca/WashDC09/swaller

Thank you!

P.S. Please forward this email to as many people as you can to encourage them to donate as well!

M.I.A.

First off, I KNOW!

I've been putting this off for a few weeks now. Call it denial, call it dissociation, call it just plain old fear.

Today I woke up pretty depressed, so I pulled the covers over my head and didn't come out until 11:45am. Once I did, something clicked. I felt better. To be honest, today is the best I've felt since I parked that big Budget truck in front of this house on Monday night September 21st.

I now live in the DC Metro area in a huge 1st floor apartment in a house (practically the size of 3 of my Manhattan apartments). Let's start with the move:

Jevon and Sarah are pretty much saints. I'm not very good at asking people for help, but at the last minute realized there was NO way in hell I could actually do this alone. I called on them because they are 2 of the most non-judgmental people that I've ever known. Those kind of people that really you could do anything and they'd still find some sort of way to make everything better. Sarah came from all the way out from BFE New Jersey to be at my house at 8:30am. We went to pick up the moving truck and get everything loaded up. Lots of garbage bags were involved.


After tears and packing and loading, we said our goodbyes and I was off to begin a new chapter of my life. Getting out of the city in a 24' truck is a BEAST. But after I got out of the tunnel it was pretty much smooth sailing the rest of the way.

I haven't been eating much for weeks now. Maybe stress, anxiety, depression. This is all sudden and challenging. I'm praying I'm not sued for the 2 months notice I was supposed to give according to my lease, but I figured if I get out and they can rent the place, all the better for them. If they do, they can't draw blood from a stone, all I can do is the best I can and hope for a break.

I didn't tell many people of my moving date. In a way I feel bad about that now that I'm here, but I just couldn't face the fact that I was actually leaving the best city in the WORLD. I miss everything about it already, and as I'm typing this I'm starting to cry. I can't even bring myself to vocalize the things I miss yet. I guess after a little adjustment period I'll be able to do just that.

Don't get me wrong, things aren't all bad and I'm not drowning in my sorrows. But this is MY BLOG and I have the right to grieve over my perceived loss for a little while.

I've been here 1 week now and have had some fruitful meetings with 4 recruiters and done all my testing and now waiting for interviews which I was assured are coming. After a few misses (and an unfortunate 2 1/2 mile walk in heels) I've now figured out how to get the bus to the Metro and get into DC. I have been walking about 2-3 miles (on purpose) almost every day. I've also been saving a mint on food since there is like NO delivery to be found out here.

The man and I are also doing well. It's going to take a while for us to get acclimated but we're doing pretty well so far. Last weekend was a flop, but we're going to make up for it this weekend by some sightseeing. We're deciding on Great Falls or perhaps visiting some wineries in the area.

It's nice to have someone supportive and kind that you know has your back. It's like having someone you want to do well for and it gives you a little more purpose than being completely on your own. Since I'm an only child I've always tried to please my parents (and probably not done too well at that). There hasn't been many times I've wanted to do well for someone else. Of course, I've always striven to take control of my own happiness, but there's a certain satisfaction in knowing someone else is proud of you. I find myself wanting to do and be better. I have a really strong desire to get back to school. Once I'm in a stable job I intend to begin immediately.

I'm in a really shi**y position right this second, but I DO feel myself ready to pull out of it and move forward with a better life.

*Cool thing about having a boyfriend #32. It encourages you to keep everything clean and organized. So now I come home to a sparkling house AND a man.

The Real Deal

Well, I'm not off to DC tonight, so I thought I'd get a quick little blog in before I go meet Terri for a few glasses of wine to catch her up on my summer.

I DID, however, get a confirmation for my 2nd/final interview today. It's now on Monday at 1pm. I'm really excited. Things are finally starting to feel real.

I also placed an ad for my apartment as a sublet. Now, I'm not sure if my landlord will "ok" this, but I figure if I tell him the truth about not being able to find a job here AND that I've found a few people willing to take over my apartment, then perhaps everything will work out okay.

The man is supposed to come up tomorrow night, then we'll travel back to DC together on Sunday to get me an apartment. Hopefully that won't take long. Then 1, possibly 2 interviews on Monday.

Think good thoughts!

NOW FOR WINE!

Losing Sight of the Shore

I came to the realization this morning that this might actually be my last full weekend in New York City. Of course, panic set in. I mean, next weekend I'll be in DC (HOPEFULLY with a job offer on the table). Apartment hunting and then coming back to pack up the last 3 1/2 years of my life. I LOVE NYC. But I can't imagine my affair with her is over. I have so many awesome friends here that I can come visit anytime. It's only 3 hours away. I don't need to freak out THAT much, right?

My Labor Day weekend wasn't exactly what I'd planned for, but then that pretty much describes all of 2009 for me anyway. I didn't do much, but I did get to hang with Peri at Brother Jimmy's on the UWS and get some South In My Mouth. Charleston Tea AP to be exact. It was good to release a little tension. I mean, aren't I basically living the 3 biggest life stressors right now? ALL AT THE SAME TIME?
1. new relationship
2. moving to a new city
3. no job/possible new job

It's a little overwhelming, but I suppose if I can just pull and keep it together for a few more weeks then I will be rewarded in an amazing way. My rewards?
1. new relationship
2. moving to a new city
3. possible new job

On the front end, STRESS. On the back end, HAPPINESS. Weird how that all works out.

My mind still can't fully commit to the move, mostly because I'll miss my friends, my neighborhood, the vastness of the city. Swig with Molly for day drinking. The linguine at Panorama. Coney Island with Moira. The fact that there are no STRIP MALLS and no overload of CHAIN restaurants. But again, it's not like I'm moving to Nebraska! I hear that DC has a ton to offer. It'll be an adventure, an exploration! And I'll have an amazing guy by my side to ease the fear.

Thanks so much to all of you who have written and told me that you love DC and have given me ideas and suggestions. It really makes it easier.

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has
the courage to lose sight of the shore"
~Andre Gide - French writer, humanist and moralist
1947 nobel prize for literature, 1869-1951

Get A Move On!

So I'm still not 100%, but maybe 90%, I guess it's just SO SCARY. Picking up and moving from somewhere I love is hard to do. I know that a new and wonderful life is waiting for me in another city. I know that there is someone there I'd rather be with than without, no matter even if it were Arkansas! (well........... maybe not). I know that the job market - for me - is a lot better there, and that rent will be $500-600 less per month. Yes, I'll have to get a car, but I think I have that part worked out.

Like I always say, "NO RISK, NO REWARD".

I had a great talk with a career coach last week who REALLY helped me put my job search in perspective. She gave me some priceless tips that I applied to the job I interviewed for on Tuesday. I guess it worked, because the interview went remarkably well. So much so, that they asked me if I was interested at the end of the meeting and asked if I was available to meet for the final interview next week. YES!! This job would put me back in-home, where I really flourish and do my best work. Of course, I'm not going to count my chickens before they've hatched, but I feel really confident right now. I'm really starting to get more and more excited for this new beginning.

After the interview, the man and I went to look at a few apartments and some cars. He's been so amazing through all of this. Could it be that things might finally be coming together for me professionally AND personally?

These past 9 months have taught me so much. I really have been able to put so much in perspective. My level of compassion has risen beyond what I ever thought I was capable of. Another thing I'm really excited for about DC, is that I'll be able to volunteer for the causes that I feel so strongly about, like Women for Women International (if you remember, I did a 5k for them last October and raised over $2000 for the women who are casualties of the war in Congo. I raised one of the highest amounts for a registered individual!) and Polaris Project, which is a cause that is SO IMPORTANT to me. I want to get INVOLVED.

I'm starting to get really excited about the next stage of life. As terrifying as it is, it's LIFE, and I want to LIVE it to the fullest.

Ciao for now!!

Monumental Month

Okay, August is an awesome month. No, I'm still not working (at a real job), but I'm so happy that ONCE IN A WHILE I actually forget about the open mouth chewing, gum popping and constant screaming and cursing that is my "day job"! How you may ask???

Yep! THE MAN.

On Tuesday I got a mysterious call about a job from an area code I didn't recognize. I guess my resume had been passed onto someone in DC without my knowledge. Fate you say??? ME TOO! I figured out a way to sneak out of work for Thursday/Friday and hopped a bus down to DC. What? R lives in DC? YOU REMEMBERED!

He picked me up from the bus station and I've never been so elated. I'm seriously so happy it should be a crime. To be in a brand new city with someone you truly care about is an awesome thing. We drove around through Georgetown, walked around and had dinner on the Potomac River. From there we went to his club where Ludacris happened to be performing. From there it was time to SLEEP. I had to be at an interview at 9am!

After meeting the headhunter I was off to my 3 hour interview at said company. I really rocked it. I seriously gave great interviews. I really thought I had this cinched. Afterward I walked over to McCormick & Schmick's (R and I actually MET at the McCormick's in Irvine in around 1993/1994) and had a Stoli/soda to relax my mental state.

The next night we visited the monuments in DC, pretty cool... It was insanely hot and humid and it felt like we were walking in the Bayou, but still incredibly cool.

Nighttime pix of the monuments didn't work out as well as planned, but I got a few good shots. Unbelievably, no shots of me and the man. I don't know how that happened. :-( Next weekend for sure!

Anyway, at work this morning I got a call about the DC job. They passed. I was too high level for the position they said. It seems I'm overqualified for every job on the Eastern seaboard in 2009. Keep on hitting right? Eventually I'll get a knockout.

WHAT A DREAMY WEEK!!!

WHOA, the past 7 days have been INSANE! I'll start at the beginning. A few weeks ago, Andreen sent me a job description from an L.A. recruiter. It was for a position in NYC and it looked pretty huge. I didn't think much about it and sent over my resume letting them know that I had been referred. About a week later, a girl that I had met through another L.A. headhunter emailed me about the job as well, and had personally referred me. I then re-emailed the recruiter and let her know that I had 2 referrals about the position now. 2 days later she finally called me back. She proceeded to tell me all about the job. 6 days a week, long hours, 20% travel or so. PA/house manager job, yadda yadda yadda. I was a bit hesitant, and then she told me who it was working for. When I say A-List Celeb, I MEAN IT. I've never been interested in working for celebs. Too much drama, too little pay. But this... THIS, THISSSSS I will do. I won't get any updates for a while, the job would begin in September, hopefully I'll find out if I get an interview in the next week or so, and will OF COURSE update you :-)

WAIT!! The awesome week doesn't end THERE!!

*Disclaimer: As much as I want to, I just can't say the name of the celeb right now, so this means I have to alter this next bit a little as well.

The call about this particular celeb/interview made me think of my ex from Orange County whom I was head over heels for in my younger years. 19-23 years old to be exact. It was off and on, and well, you know, we were young and stupid (he was more stupid than me *wink*) and just couldn't get it to work out. He worked for the record label of my potential interview/job.

For kicks I searched him out on Facebook, AGAIN. Mind you, over the past 5-6 years, I have always looked for him. Myspace, Facebook, Google, wherever. Even when I searched this time, I thought NO WAY would he be listed. After 5-6 years of searching??

HE WAS.

I also saw his brother. I added both of them. His brother added me back, and I quickly emailed him to see about "R". By the next morning, he had called me. My heart was in my stomach. It was just like my 19 year-old self reappeared, only more self aware and confident, smarter and more savvy, yet terrified as a mouse.

On his Facebook he's listed his network as Orange County, CA. So of course I figure he still lives there. That's fine, I'm glad he's well. I'm glad to even have the chance to say hello again. Happy and excited to be able to hear about his life the past 11 years.

This is how the phone call goes down (with some artistic license):
R: I was just out there visiting. I can't believe I missed you by 2 weeks.
Me: Out where, you were in New York?
R: No, I was in Orange County. I could've seen you
Me: Ummm, I don't live in Orange County anymore, I live in New York. Where do YOU live?
R: DC

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? 3 hours away? Not possible!

Long story semi-short, he drove up the next day for the weekend and it's ALL GOOD. When you see someone after 11 years it's really an amazing thing to see how you two have grown and the people you've become. It's a beautiful thing.

Today between smiles I received a phone call about ANOTHER job, my interview is tomorrow and I was told the principal will make a decision pretty much on the spot. PRAY FOR ME MY FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I get the job, I'll be taking a little road trip on Wednesday. Perhaps I'll get to see where Mr. Obama lives.

Happy Birthday to my Baby Girl!!

Tomorrow is my little Chhaya's birthday. Chhaya means "a shadow" in Hindi. She's always been my little shadow since she came home in 2000. It's crazy, because she still acts as if she's a baby. Running around the apartment playing and happy. Anyway, I just wanted to give her a little shout out on my blog since every single day she makes me smile even when all I want to do is cry.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHHAYA!

Nouveau Espérance

If you didn't immediately notice, I've decided that my poor Plain Jane blog deserved a makeover. You like??

Yesterday was so nice in NY. A little humid, but doable. Today, STEAMBATH. Why has it been so rainy this year?

I'm afraid to say that there's not much new going on. Still sending out resumes, still making calls, still searching. It's harder now, since I work all the way down on Wall Street. It's almost impossible to sneak out to an interview since they're almost exclusively in Midtown. I can no longer come in late because of a "doctor appointment". Even if I work a full 8 hours, unless I am there at 8:30am, I wont be paid for a full day. Seriously. All that said, with this rebirth of my blog, tomorrow is yet another rebirth of ME. I look at this hardship in my life as showing me what I'm really made of. It's challenging me to look within myself and become more spiritual.

I've been downloading and listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer on my iPod during my commute in the last week. He is really inspirational and motivational, and has a lot of really important things to say. I'm going to try and see him in New York City on September 30th.

I've also now moved to where Miss Staten Island sits directly behind me. If you don't feel my pain, check this out... and she DOES call EVERYONE "sweetheart". LOL!! All you have to do is imagine it 10 x's louder while popping gum.

*CLICK HERE!!*

CLICK HERE for another explanation

Umm, ya.

Anyway, I've begun my new eating journey and I'm already feeling a little better after only a few days. My goal is to get my 'unemployment weight' off. My goal is get down one full size at least by Labor Day weekend, and to get the rest off (I'm not giving you a # because I'm assuming you can do math!!) by October 1st. The Union Square farmer's market is so awesome. Tonight for dinner was a golden beet and mustard green salad with brown rice with some black beans.

Brunching, Sharpton, Punching

The last few days have been interesting to say the least. I started Friday off by going to sleep early. It was needed. Saturday was a semi relaxing day, errands and the normal weekend stuff. Saturday night Moira texted me about hanging out on Sunday.

Our initial thought was going to the beach, but I decided I could just do brunch because I needed to get home and do laundry before Paris arrives Wednesday. (Yes, the same laundry from last weekend, now doubled). We met on the Lower East Side and had a yummy brunch at Belcourt. Afterward we just walked around and window shopped, stopping for the occasional mimosa.

About 2:30pm, she decides she wants to take me to Brooklyn to her normal afternoon hangout. I said no at first, then due to the powers of Moira's persuasion, I finally caved.

We got to Habana Outpost around 3:30pm and sat down for some frozen mojitos. A few minutes later, there are big burly men, flash photography and limos. None other than Al Sharpton decided to pay a visit. He was campaigning for Brooklyn mayoral candidate Bill Thompson. Needless to say, it was interesting! I needed proof, so I quickly snapped a pic with my Blackberry.

As 8pm rolled around, I got a call from a comedian friend of mine who wanted me to go see a quick set of his at NY Comedy club. I jetted over there on the way home and had a blast. Wil Sylvince is hilarious!

This brings me to Monday morning, yes, good ole Monday. I'm at work, and in addition to all the glitz and glamour that is my "day job", I'm now told I will be needing to "punch in and out", ya, like a TIMESHEET.

Whaaaaaaaaatttttttt????????? Seriously. I mean, have I not been humbled enough by making 1/3 of my regular salary with no health benefits? Am I not allowed to keep even a shred of my pride? Maybe to those of you reading, this seems like an insignificant piece of information. I can understand that. But to me it's a huge blow. I haven't punched a time clock since I was 18 years old. It just makes me want to work even harder to get a "real" full time job that I can be proud of. After that, there is NO doubt in my mind what I'll be doing.


School.

Inspiration

I love this list. I've posted it to Facebook before, but I still like reading it over and over. I hope you enjoy and can take something from this to add to your life.

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day, and while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. MEDITATE about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ’My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________ ’.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least THREE people smile each day.

7. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life is not fair, but it is still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it will not spoil the present.

14. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ’In five years, will this matter?’

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD (depending on your beliefs) heals everything - but you have to ask your higher power (translate to your religion).

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night, before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You will be smiling before you know it.