The 1st Day of the Rest of My Life

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931)

Well, I'm home now after a very full day. From the moment I woke up I knew this would be a great day. First thing at 7:00am R called me to tell me he'd take me to work for my first day. We got there a little early so we went to Panera to grab a few yummy caramel latte's.

From there I walked a bit nervously into the office. Let's face it, I haven't had a "real" job for a year. I'm a little terrified but as confident as I know how to be at this juncture. Everyone was amazing. I was greeted as if I were a long lost friend. Casey (my counterpart) showed me around and just as quickly the IT guys were setting up my iPhone and MacBook Pro for me to take home. (Argh, I'm NEVER going to convert to a "Mac Person") but it's still cool.

After all the electronics were set up I started to read and go through my desk and then my boss came in around 10:30am. I went to shake her hand but she countered me with a hug. A BIG ONE! After what I've gone through in my career I wondered if there was a weapon in one of those hands, but there wasn't. She was truly happy I was there. She then invited me to a lunch (a 2 hour one!). We dined and talked about life and career, it was truly fabulous. She's an incredible woman. (YES, I recall I said I'd never work for a woman again, but this is SO different).

The company itself is so cool, but even cooler is that I'm really a PART of it, not just an "assistant" to it. I'm encouraged to voice any ideas in concepts and marketing and to whatever else I can come up with. It's really a small family type of atmosphere.

The resort is nestled in the Colorado Red Rocks and I'll be traveling there frequently. I'm SO EXCITED! Look how gorgeous this place is!

I'll get into the company more in future posts, but the above is what I'll be working on. It's really exciting the more you learn.

R picked me up from the train and brought me home, I'm mentally exhausted but really looking forward to learning more. It feels GOOD to have a job again. I can already feel my self confidence rising. I'd lost even more of it than I'd realized.

xo

FINALLY!

My head is spinning, my stomach is turning, my vision is a bit blurry, my thoughts are all out of order and scattered. I feel high. I'm really overwhelmed. I'm so happy but terrified to be as happy as I want to be. You get a little gun shy after being out of work this long.

Today marks one year TO THE DAY from the day I was laid off. It makes for a very auspicious day for me to get the job offer I've been waiting for.

A boutique agency I've been with since I moved called me last Tuesday with a job they thought I might be right for. Honestly I'd forgotten about them since they've never called me for anything. I told them I was able to interview Wednesday (before Thanksgiving) and it worked out. I had a GREAT meeting and was asked to come back Monday night to meet with everyone else. The deal was sealed about 30 minutes ago and I start on Thursday. In my upcoming blogs I'll discuss the company more and what I'll be doing. I'll be EA/PA to the President/CEO of a sort of entertainment/hospitality/travel company. It's very exciting and the job could sort of turn into anything. It's a very entrepreneurial and creative atmosphere and from the moment I met with the first person there, I felt that this was the job I'd been looking for the past year.

I know that with a new job comes the return of some of the self confidence I've lost in the past 12 months. I could really use that right now.

My parents arrive on December 8th and will be here for a week. The company told me that I can work 9-1 or 2pm on the days they're here so I can see them, which I find incredibly generous.

I'm really excited to start on this new path in this new city with my new man.

And Another One

I know I should be blogging more, but I have started to feel at times that I don't have much to say. DC is going okay. I'm interviewing. I've actually had more interviews here in less than 2 months than I had all year in NYC. For that I'm grateful. I was just about to be offered a position last week when I lost it due to a personal referral getting the job. Oh well, that means that it wasn't meant to be. I was anxious to get a job, but wasn't super excited about the job anyway.

Then yesterday I was called by an agency I'd met with a few times, but had never contacted me about a position or to even check up. They had what sounded like a great position. After doing my homework on the company and executives, I started to get really interested and excited. The interview was this morning and it went great. In fact, so great that during the interview they asked me to come back on Monday to meet the rest of the people in the company. Now, of course, the company has to do their due diligence, and I am completely unwilling to get ahead of myself about any actual prospect of a PERMANENT and REAL ACTUAL job, BUTTTTTTTTTTT... (and sshhhhh, don't tell anyone) I'm REALLY excited about this position!

*The money is right
*The location is right
*The company is entrepreneurial and forward thinking
*It's a small office
*The perks are great and the people seem fantastic

But again, let me emphasize that I am not counting my eggs as of yet. :-)

The weekend of November 13-15 R and I went to Boston for Julie and John's wedding. It was sensational. We took the Amtrak and it was cool to have that time together. We ate at Summer Shack on Friday night where we had oysters, clams, a 2 lb. lobster, mussels and lobster and pumpkin bisque. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! From there we drove off to Tewksbury (ya, I'd never heard of it before either). Our hotel was great, until John called us over to his best man's room for some pre-wedding day cocktails and while walking back to our rooms realized the wedding couple was RIGHT NEXT DOOR to us! Those walls must be thick!

The wedding itself was beautiful and I was SO overjoyed to be able to share Julie's special day.

We took off to Boston the next day to spend the day wandering about before catching the Amtrak back at 3pm. I wish we'd had more time because Boston seems pretty cool.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and if you haven't already, vocalize what you're thankful for. Be it your family, friends, work, home or health. I've learned over the past year that it's not "things" that make you happy. There's so much more to life. I've also learned that no matter how bad I have it (and trust me, I don't have it good right now), I am better off than a lot of people. I have parents who are fortunate enough to help me out when I truly need it and great friends, even though they're mostly located in NYC.

Speaking OF, I did visit NYC for the first time last weekend since I moved. I just went for Friday night, but I was SO HAPPY to see Molly, Peri and Sheree. It was great to have a girl night out and I'm definitely going back soon so I can see ALL of my girls.

Much love.

Luck Be A Ladybug

I finally found enough things to write about so I thought I'd blog and then go back to sleep.

Julie and John came to visit last weekend (they're getting married in November in Boston and I've been stressssssssing out about how I'm going to be able to afford to go). We had the BEST time. We went out in Georgetown on Saturday night and ended up in some cougar-type bar, it was hilarious. We danced to '80s music and drank beer. I miss 'girl time'. After meeting up with Rico at a club, we got back to my place around 3am.

In the morning, we woke up, had some coffee and then took off to meet John and his friend for brunch and bloody marys at Old Ebbitt Grill. BEST. FOOD. EVER. Check out their menu, I DIE!!! I had the Fall Strata and we shared oysters and the crab & artichoke dip. The BEST I've ever had!

After brunch, we headed to the POV Roof Terrace at the W. The view is great, you can see all of the monuments. We then walked over to the White House, the Washington Monument, the WW2 memorial and the Lincoln. Then we hopped in a cab to Georgetown waterfront for cocktails and to enjoy the beautiful sunshine.


The rest of the week was pretty ordinary. R crushed 2 of his fingers at work, so he's in pain most of the time. :-(

I've been sick with an icky cold for a few days now, but I did manage to schedule a few meetings for Thursday and Monday (which look PROMISING).

Today I was in the kitchen. Don't ask me how, but I managed to cook dinner for R and I tonight. I baked Cornish game hen with EVOO, garlic and fresh rosemary, sweet potatoes and green beans. While cooking, I looked into the living room to find 20 or more LADYBUGS all over my front door and ceiling. I've never seen such a thing in my life! I don't know how they got in and didn't know how to get them out. A few landed on me, then I used a paper to shoo them out the front door.

As we all know, ladybugs mean good luck.

Nearly ALL cultures believe that a Ladybug is lucky.
Killing one is said to bring sadness and misfortune.

In some Asian cultures, it is believed that the Ladybug understands
human language, and has been blessed by God, Himself.

Folklore suggests if you catch a Ladybug in your home, count the number
of spots and that's how many dollars you'll soon find.

I thought this quite odd, but it also made me happy. Anyway, about an hour later I got a call from someone I've had a few interviews with. They want me to work from Friday - Friday for decent pay. Sort of a temp to perm kinda thing to see how we like each other. Either way, after adding it up, it 100% pays for me to go to Julie's wedding, PLUS an extra $150 or so!!

Looks like those ladybugs really work!

I'm looking forward to seeing Andreen this weekend. She just got back to the states from Shanghai and now she's heading down here.

Looking Forward

SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My BFF Julie and her fiance John are coming to DC on Saturday. He's coming to visit a friend of his and that means I get 2 full GIRL DAYS!! She's my first visitor since I've been here, and since I don't really have any girlfriends here, I just can't wait to see her.

Saturday we'll probably do a little walking around then some bar hopping in Georgetown for the night. Sunday after brunch (and a little hair of the dog I'm guessing) we'll visit the monuments.

We'll take TONS of pictures and I think this will do wonders for my mood.

Light the Night Walk

Hi all! I'm still unemployed, but thought I'd try and raise a little money for a good cause in my new city of Washington, DC! My girlfriend Erin is coming down from NYC to walk for her aunt and I want to help her cause.

Finding better treatments and cures for blood cancers so patients can live better, longer lives through The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Light The Night Walk.

I'm asking you to help by making a small contribution (seriously, EVEN $5)!

Please use the link below to donate online quickly & securely.

You will receive an email confirmation of your donation as soon as it is made. I thank you in advance for your support which will make a difference in the lives of thousands of patients battling blood cancers. I really appreciate your generosity!!

http://pages.lightthenight.org/nca/WashDC09/swaller

Thank you!

P.S. Please forward this email to as many people as you can to encourage them to donate as well!

M.I.A.

First off, I KNOW!

I've been putting this off for a few weeks now. Call it denial, call it dissociation, call it just plain old fear.

Today I woke up pretty depressed, so I pulled the covers over my head and didn't come out until 11:45am. Once I did, something clicked. I felt better. To be honest, today is the best I've felt since I parked that big Budget truck in front of this house on Monday night September 21st.

I now live in the DC Metro area in a huge 1st floor apartment in a house (practically the size of 3 of my Manhattan apartments). Let's start with the move:

Jevon and Sarah are pretty much saints. I'm not very good at asking people for help, but at the last minute realized there was NO way in hell I could actually do this alone. I called on them because they are 2 of the most non-judgmental people that I've ever known. Those kind of people that really you could do anything and they'd still find some sort of way to make everything better. Sarah came from all the way out from BFE New Jersey to be at my house at 8:30am. We went to pick up the moving truck and get everything loaded up. Lots of garbage bags were involved.


After tears and packing and loading, we said our goodbyes and I was off to begin a new chapter of my life. Getting out of the city in a 24' truck is a BEAST. But after I got out of the tunnel it was pretty much smooth sailing the rest of the way.

I haven't been eating much for weeks now. Maybe stress, anxiety, depression. This is all sudden and challenging. I'm praying I'm not sued for the 2 months notice I was supposed to give according to my lease, but I figured if I get out and they can rent the place, all the better for them. If they do, they can't draw blood from a stone, all I can do is the best I can and hope for a break.

I didn't tell many people of my moving date. In a way I feel bad about that now that I'm here, but I just couldn't face the fact that I was actually leaving the best city in the WORLD. I miss everything about it already, and as I'm typing this I'm starting to cry. I can't even bring myself to vocalize the things I miss yet. I guess after a little adjustment period I'll be able to do just that.

Don't get me wrong, things aren't all bad and I'm not drowning in my sorrows. But this is MY BLOG and I have the right to grieve over my perceived loss for a little while.

I've been here 1 week now and have had some fruitful meetings with 4 recruiters and done all my testing and now waiting for interviews which I was assured are coming. After a few misses (and an unfortunate 2 1/2 mile walk in heels) I've now figured out how to get the bus to the Metro and get into DC. I have been walking about 2-3 miles (on purpose) almost every day. I've also been saving a mint on food since there is like NO delivery to be found out here.

The man and I are also doing well. It's going to take a while for us to get acclimated but we're doing pretty well so far. Last weekend was a flop, but we're going to make up for it this weekend by some sightseeing. We're deciding on Great Falls or perhaps visiting some wineries in the area.

It's nice to have someone supportive and kind that you know has your back. It's like having someone you want to do well for and it gives you a little more purpose than being completely on your own. Since I'm an only child I've always tried to please my parents (and probably not done too well at that). There hasn't been many times I've wanted to do well for someone else. Of course, I've always striven to take control of my own happiness, but there's a certain satisfaction in knowing someone else is proud of you. I find myself wanting to do and be better. I have a really strong desire to get back to school. Once I'm in a stable job I intend to begin immediately.

I'm in a really shi**y position right this second, but I DO feel myself ready to pull out of it and move forward with a better life.

*Cool thing about having a boyfriend #32. It encourages you to keep everything clean and organized. So now I come home to a sparkling house AND a man.

The Real Deal

Well, I'm not off to DC tonight, so I thought I'd get a quick little blog in before I go meet Terri for a few glasses of wine to catch her up on my summer.

I DID, however, get a confirmation for my 2nd/final interview today. It's now on Monday at 1pm. I'm really excited. Things are finally starting to feel real.

I also placed an ad for my apartment as a sublet. Now, I'm not sure if my landlord will "ok" this, but I figure if I tell him the truth about not being able to find a job here AND that I've found a few people willing to take over my apartment, then perhaps everything will work out okay.

The man is supposed to come up tomorrow night, then we'll travel back to DC together on Sunday to get me an apartment. Hopefully that won't take long. Then 1, possibly 2 interviews on Monday.

Think good thoughts!

NOW FOR WINE!

Losing Sight of the Shore

I came to the realization this morning that this might actually be my last full weekend in New York City. Of course, panic set in. I mean, next weekend I'll be in DC (HOPEFULLY with a job offer on the table). Apartment hunting and then coming back to pack up the last 3 1/2 years of my life. I LOVE NYC. But I can't imagine my affair with her is over. I have so many awesome friends here that I can come visit anytime. It's only 3 hours away. I don't need to freak out THAT much, right?

My Labor Day weekend wasn't exactly what I'd planned for, but then that pretty much describes all of 2009 for me anyway. I didn't do much, but I did get to hang with Peri at Brother Jimmy's on the UWS and get some South In My Mouth. Charleston Tea AP to be exact. It was good to release a little tension. I mean, aren't I basically living the 3 biggest life stressors right now? ALL AT THE SAME TIME?
1. new relationship
2. moving to a new city
3. no job/possible new job

It's a little overwhelming, but I suppose if I can just pull and keep it together for a few more weeks then I will be rewarded in an amazing way. My rewards?
1. new relationship
2. moving to a new city
3. possible new job

On the front end, STRESS. On the back end, HAPPINESS. Weird how that all works out.

My mind still can't fully commit to the move, mostly because I'll miss my friends, my neighborhood, the vastness of the city. Swig with Molly for day drinking. The linguine at Panorama. Coney Island with Moira. The fact that there are no STRIP MALLS and no overload of CHAIN restaurants. But again, it's not like I'm moving to Nebraska! I hear that DC has a ton to offer. It'll be an adventure, an exploration! And I'll have an amazing guy by my side to ease the fear.

Thanks so much to all of you who have written and told me that you love DC and have given me ideas and suggestions. It really makes it easier.

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has
the courage to lose sight of the shore"
~Andre Gide - French writer, humanist and moralist
1947 nobel prize for literature, 1869-1951

Get A Move On!

So I'm still not 100%, but maybe 90%, I guess it's just SO SCARY. Picking up and moving from somewhere I love is hard to do. I know that a new and wonderful life is waiting for me in another city. I know that there is someone there I'd rather be with than without, no matter even if it were Arkansas! (well........... maybe not). I know that the job market - for me - is a lot better there, and that rent will be $500-600 less per month. Yes, I'll have to get a car, but I think I have that part worked out.

Like I always say, "NO RISK, NO REWARD".

I had a great talk with a career coach last week who REALLY helped me put my job search in perspective. She gave me some priceless tips that I applied to the job I interviewed for on Tuesday. I guess it worked, because the interview went remarkably well. So much so, that they asked me if I was interested at the end of the meeting and asked if I was available to meet for the final interview next week. YES!! This job would put me back in-home, where I really flourish and do my best work. Of course, I'm not going to count my chickens before they've hatched, but I feel really confident right now. I'm really starting to get more and more excited for this new beginning.

After the interview, the man and I went to look at a few apartments and some cars. He's been so amazing through all of this. Could it be that things might finally be coming together for me professionally AND personally?

These past 9 months have taught me so much. I really have been able to put so much in perspective. My level of compassion has risen beyond what I ever thought I was capable of. Another thing I'm really excited for about DC, is that I'll be able to volunteer for the causes that I feel so strongly about, like Women for Women International (if you remember, I did a 5k for them last October and raised over $2000 for the women who are casualties of the war in Congo. I raised one of the highest amounts for a registered individual!) and Polaris Project, which is a cause that is SO IMPORTANT to me. I want to get INVOLVED.

I'm starting to get really excited about the next stage of life. As terrifying as it is, it's LIFE, and I want to LIVE it to the fullest.

Ciao for now!!

Monumental Month

Okay, August is an awesome month. No, I'm still not working (at a real job), but I'm so happy that ONCE IN A WHILE I actually forget about the open mouth chewing, gum popping and constant screaming and cursing that is my "day job"! How you may ask???

Yep! THE MAN.

On Tuesday I got a mysterious call about a job from an area code I didn't recognize. I guess my resume had been passed onto someone in DC without my knowledge. Fate you say??? ME TOO! I figured out a way to sneak out of work for Thursday/Friday and hopped a bus down to DC. What? R lives in DC? YOU REMEMBERED!

He picked me up from the bus station and I've never been so elated. I'm seriously so happy it should be a crime. To be in a brand new city with someone you truly care about is an awesome thing. We drove around through Georgetown, walked around and had dinner on the Potomac River. From there we went to his club where Ludacris happened to be performing. From there it was time to SLEEP. I had to be at an interview at 9am!

After meeting the headhunter I was off to my 3 hour interview at said company. I really rocked it. I seriously gave great interviews. I really thought I had this cinched. Afterward I walked over to McCormick & Schmick's (R and I actually MET at the McCormick's in Irvine in around 1993/1994) and had a Stoli/soda to relax my mental state.

The next night we visited the monuments in DC, pretty cool... It was insanely hot and humid and it felt like we were walking in the Bayou, but still incredibly cool.

Nighttime pix of the monuments didn't work out as well as planned, but I got a few good shots. Unbelievably, no shots of me and the man. I don't know how that happened. :-( Next weekend for sure!

Anyway, at work this morning I got a call about the DC job. They passed. I was too high level for the position they said. It seems I'm overqualified for every job on the Eastern seaboard in 2009. Keep on hitting right? Eventually I'll get a knockout.

WHAT A DREAMY WEEK!!!

WHOA, the past 7 days have been INSANE! I'll start at the beginning. A few weeks ago, Andreen sent me a job description from an L.A. recruiter. It was for a position in NYC and it looked pretty huge. I didn't think much about it and sent over my resume letting them know that I had been referred. About a week later, a girl that I had met through another L.A. headhunter emailed me about the job as well, and had personally referred me. I then re-emailed the recruiter and let her know that I had 2 referrals about the position now. 2 days later she finally called me back. She proceeded to tell me all about the job. 6 days a week, long hours, 20% travel or so. PA/house manager job, yadda yadda yadda. I was a bit hesitant, and then she told me who it was working for. When I say A-List Celeb, I MEAN IT. I've never been interested in working for celebs. Too much drama, too little pay. But this... THIS, THISSSSS I will do. I won't get any updates for a while, the job would begin in September, hopefully I'll find out if I get an interview in the next week or so, and will OF COURSE update you :-)

WAIT!! The awesome week doesn't end THERE!!

*Disclaimer: As much as I want to, I just can't say the name of the celeb right now, so this means I have to alter this next bit a little as well.

The call about this particular celeb/interview made me think of my ex from Orange County whom I was head over heels for in my younger years. 19-23 years old to be exact. It was off and on, and well, you know, we were young and stupid (he was more stupid than me *wink*) and just couldn't get it to work out. He worked for the record label of my potential interview/job.

For kicks I searched him out on Facebook, AGAIN. Mind you, over the past 5-6 years, I have always looked for him. Myspace, Facebook, Google, wherever. Even when I searched this time, I thought NO WAY would he be listed. After 5-6 years of searching??

HE WAS.

I also saw his brother. I added both of them. His brother added me back, and I quickly emailed him to see about "R". By the next morning, he had called me. My heart was in my stomach. It was just like my 19 year-old self reappeared, only more self aware and confident, smarter and more savvy, yet terrified as a mouse.

On his Facebook he's listed his network as Orange County, CA. So of course I figure he still lives there. That's fine, I'm glad he's well. I'm glad to even have the chance to say hello again. Happy and excited to be able to hear about his life the past 11 years.

This is how the phone call goes down (with some artistic license):
R: I was just out there visiting. I can't believe I missed you by 2 weeks.
Me: Out where, you were in New York?
R: No, I was in Orange County. I could've seen you
Me: Ummm, I don't live in Orange County anymore, I live in New York. Where do YOU live?
R: DC

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? 3 hours away? Not possible!

Long story semi-short, he drove up the next day for the weekend and it's ALL GOOD. When you see someone after 11 years it's really an amazing thing to see how you two have grown and the people you've become. It's a beautiful thing.

Today between smiles I received a phone call about ANOTHER job, my interview is tomorrow and I was told the principal will make a decision pretty much on the spot. PRAY FOR ME MY FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I get the job, I'll be taking a little road trip on Wednesday. Perhaps I'll get to see where Mr. Obama lives.

Happy Birthday to my Baby Girl!!

Tomorrow is my little Chhaya's birthday. Chhaya means "a shadow" in Hindi. She's always been my little shadow since she came home in 2000. It's crazy, because she still acts as if she's a baby. Running around the apartment playing and happy. Anyway, I just wanted to give her a little shout out on my blog since every single day she makes me smile even when all I want to do is cry.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHHAYA!

Nouveau Espérance

If you didn't immediately notice, I've decided that my poor Plain Jane blog deserved a makeover. You like??

Yesterday was so nice in NY. A little humid, but doable. Today, STEAMBATH. Why has it been so rainy this year?

I'm afraid to say that there's not much new going on. Still sending out resumes, still making calls, still searching. It's harder now, since I work all the way down on Wall Street. It's almost impossible to sneak out to an interview since they're almost exclusively in Midtown. I can no longer come in late because of a "doctor appointment". Even if I work a full 8 hours, unless I am there at 8:30am, I wont be paid for a full day. Seriously. All that said, with this rebirth of my blog, tomorrow is yet another rebirth of ME. I look at this hardship in my life as showing me what I'm really made of. It's challenging me to look within myself and become more spiritual.

I've been downloading and listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer on my iPod during my commute in the last week. He is really inspirational and motivational, and has a lot of really important things to say. I'm going to try and see him in New York City on September 30th.

I've also now moved to where Miss Staten Island sits directly behind me. If you don't feel my pain, check this out... and she DOES call EVERYONE "sweetheart". LOL!! All you have to do is imagine it 10 x's louder while popping gum.

*CLICK HERE!!*

CLICK HERE for another explanation

Umm, ya.

Anyway, I've begun my new eating journey and I'm already feeling a little better after only a few days. My goal is to get my 'unemployment weight' off. My goal is get down one full size at least by Labor Day weekend, and to get the rest off (I'm not giving you a # because I'm assuming you can do math!!) by October 1st. The Union Square farmer's market is so awesome. Tonight for dinner was a golden beet and mustard green salad with brown rice with some black beans.

Brunching, Sharpton, Punching

The last few days have been interesting to say the least. I started Friday off by going to sleep early. It was needed. Saturday was a semi relaxing day, errands and the normal weekend stuff. Saturday night Moira texted me about hanging out on Sunday.

Our initial thought was going to the beach, but I decided I could just do brunch because I needed to get home and do laundry before Paris arrives Wednesday. (Yes, the same laundry from last weekend, now doubled). We met on the Lower East Side and had a yummy brunch at Belcourt. Afterward we just walked around and window shopped, stopping for the occasional mimosa.

About 2:30pm, she decides she wants to take me to Brooklyn to her normal afternoon hangout. I said no at first, then due to the powers of Moira's persuasion, I finally caved.

We got to Habana Outpost around 3:30pm and sat down for some frozen mojitos. A few minutes later, there are big burly men, flash photography and limos. None other than Al Sharpton decided to pay a visit. He was campaigning for Brooklyn mayoral candidate Bill Thompson. Needless to say, it was interesting! I needed proof, so I quickly snapped a pic with my Blackberry.

As 8pm rolled around, I got a call from a comedian friend of mine who wanted me to go see a quick set of his at NY Comedy club. I jetted over there on the way home and had a blast. Wil Sylvince is hilarious!

This brings me to Monday morning, yes, good ole Monday. I'm at work, and in addition to all the glitz and glamour that is my "day job", I'm now told I will be needing to "punch in and out", ya, like a TIMESHEET.

Whaaaaaaaaatttttttt????????? Seriously. I mean, have I not been humbled enough by making 1/3 of my regular salary with no health benefits? Am I not allowed to keep even a shred of my pride? Maybe to those of you reading, this seems like an insignificant piece of information. I can understand that. But to me it's a huge blow. I haven't punched a time clock since I was 18 years old. It just makes me want to work even harder to get a "real" full time job that I can be proud of. After that, there is NO doubt in my mind what I'll be doing.


School.

Inspiration

I love this list. I've posted it to Facebook before, but I still like reading it over and over. I hope you enjoy and can take something from this to add to your life.

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day, and while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. MEDITATE about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ’My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________ ’.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least THREE people smile each day.

7. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life is not fair, but it is still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it will not spoil the present.

14. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ’In five years, will this matter?’

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD (depending on your beliefs) heals everything - but you have to ask your higher power (translate to your religion).

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night, before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You will be smiling before you know it.

Burning the Candle

A few people have noticed lately that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I won't disagree. I'm so tired that I'm a little wired. I've done a ton of travel arrangements this week, but after today, I think it'll calm down for a few days.

On to a lighter subject... When I was 20 I worked for a company called PI. We did door to door sales of entertainment tickets (I still can't believe I did that...) ANYWAY, if any of you have worked in sales, normally the office is pretty fun. A lot of us hung out outside of work, partied a lot. We had "party Fridays" where we came back to the office to basically a full bar and pizza! I wish that was the case now. But I digress. We had a pretty tight crew and some have even gone off to get married! One of the managers messaged me on Facebook a few days ago, and from that, I think I've friended 5 people. Two of whom live in New York! One of whom I'm meeting tonight for dinner and, more importantly, cocktails!

Thank you to those who said your prayers! Chrissy left the hospital yesterday and is still sick, but doing okay.

I still can't believe Paris will be here next week! It's been way too long. So excited!!!

2.5 more hours, then...
Aaaahhhhhhhh!

Basura!

Well, THAT was a waste of time! I went to a job interview Monday morning before work. My appointment was at 8:30am. I was on time. The person I was meeting wasn't. Remember, I have a day job on Wall Street that starts at 8:30am. At 9am, the woman decides to show up, only to tell me the job is TEMP. Temp for a month to "see how it goes". Seriously? I called my headhunter and let him know I was not pleased. He said he thought I knew it was temp. Riiiiiiiiight. I'm not about to give up a day job, underwhelming as it is, for an unsure thing. Needless to say I was 1 1/2 hours late for work, and they noticed. I'm on the roster for 2 more (GOOD) interviews, and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get to them.

I feel like I'm trapped in a box. Trying so hard to get out, clawing the doors, digging under the walls, but getting nowhere. Maybe running in place is a better analogy. I know that I have to keep going, keep running until I reach my destination. Gotta admit I'm exhausted. I've been hearing and reading about some people who have been unemployed or underemployed for 1-2 years. That CAN'T happen to me, right? NO WAY. Some people have even stopped looking. Well I'm not 'some people'. I'm not giving up until I get what I'm worth.

I've also been speaking with my best friend from High School. I'm going to meet up with her in the next month to go wine tasting. She lives in Boston, so I'll take the bus to her and maybe we'll head someplace beautiful like Vermont. SO excited for that. In addition, I'm going to head up to Toronto in a few weeks and we'll see what happens there. ;-) Thanks for that little push, Andreen. ALSO, I have a great friend coming out next week from L.A. to visit for a bit. SO excited. Paris to NYC. :-)

Now, if I could just get all that laundry done...

Not sure about the Grandma front. She's hanging in there. I'm going to give her a call this week.

Also, if you're feeling spiritual, send out a prayer, chant, good thought, silent moment for my friend Chrissy. She has a blood clot in her lung and she's in the hospital. Chrissy rocks. Let's pray for her to get back on her feet again quickly so she can get back into the haute couture. (Ya, she's a model). To help you with your prayers, here's a pic of her. HOT right??

Life - Part II

So now it's mid-July and I'll let you in on what's happened in the past few weeks. For one thing, the weather has sucked. On another note, I've been interviewing for a position for a family and got through 2 interviews. The woman, from now on we'll call her FRAN, wanted me to come work one night after work and 1 full day so I agreed. Since I'm freelancing, I have a LITTLE freedom. I worked a full 9 hour day down on Wall Street, then shot up to Midtown and worked an additional 3 hours. The next day was 9:15am-8:30pm. I thought everything went well, and I was a little excited about getting an offer. That night walking home, I just started crying. I miss having a job in my normal profession. It had felt so good to work those few days and I realized how unhappy I was with my day job. (Or it could've been hormones).

The next day I got an email about various "concerns" that Fran had. From my experience, "concerns" are really nothing to be concerned about. They are voiced when the potential employer decides they aren't sure what they really want or need. For instance, one of my items in feedback was that I was "such a pleasure in the home, but so lovely, in fact, that I'm not sure how she'd be managing the staff". Okay, let's get something straight here, I've been managing staff for, hmmm, 12 years give or take?! I've never had one issue or problem with it, in fact I've always had pretty great experiences with staff. They call on me to this day for referrals. I let it irritate me for a moment, then after various other questions, I decided that I was no longer even going to hope for the job. If they're picking it apart with ridiculous issues, then I don't even care anymore.

Once I said, thank you for the interview, and wished them good luck with the hiring process, they called me back asking if I'd work for her part time for the summer. See, there's construction going on in their apartment, so they're moving out to LI for the summer. In my excitement for adding income and potentially setting myself up for a full time job with them come September, I agreed. When I got home, I started to have second thoughts. Can I really commute 45 mins each way for a 9 hour job 5 days a week, then work an additional 16-24 hours on top of it? In the light of day, it doesn't seem super realistic.

So this all happened last Thursday. It's Sunday now, and my cleaning lady is here doing a complete overhaul of my apartment. It feels GREAT. I've done 2 loads of laundry already and my apartment is getting SO CLEAN. The only thing I have to work on is my desk and finishing laundry. YUCK. I'm going to make an attempt to do the things Fran gave me to do, and see how it goes, but if I start getting too overwhelmed, then I'm going to have to just call it a day and let fate take me where I'm supposed to go. I do have an interview tomorrow morning before work, and I'm in line for another position as well. we'll see if either of those pan out.

I'll end this on a high note. I'm still optimistic, I still have faith that all will REALLY work out in the end for me. My cleaning lady just finished, my apartment is sparkling and I'm going to go get ready to meet Chris and a bunch of other people to go see BRUNO at Kip's Bay.

Que Belle Journee!

Life - Part I

I I think I've been putting off blogging for a little while because I've been too overwhelmed. Then so many things happened that I didn't even know if I could blog about that much. So I decided to blog in a few parts. This, clearly, is Part I.

After I was hired by the tech firm, I took a quick break and went to Las Vegas to see Alecia, get some sun and let off some steam.

I arrived on Saturday evening on time and was ready to get the evening started. We went over to Diablo's for margaritas and Mexican food. We sat at the bar and ordered a pitcher, and a (very) drunk guy was sitting at the end of the bar. He proceeded to try and chat up Alecia, and next thing we knew, our pitchers, dinners, everything was paid for. The manager must've seen that he was pretty inebriated and came over to make sure the drunk wasn't bothering us too much. When I looked up at the exchange, I realized the manager was a friend of mine I haven't seen, and rarely spoken to, since I moved from L.A. to NYC! It was soooooooooo cool to see him. He got us a great table and after we were done, we headed off to finish an evening of drinking.

We had some great sushi, relaxed by some pools and saw the Criss Angel show "Believe" at the Luxor. Then I was ready to get back to New York and start on my new path.

After about a week of working I realized that maybe this wasn't the position I had hoped it would be. Sure it was a possible new path for me and I'm open to that, but I guess working for 30% of the salary I made last year was a bit of a blow to the ego. Of course, the possibility lies within me to raise my income through the sales, but I'm not sure if this is the type of work I'm supposed to be doing. I have kept sending out resumes since I began there, and I guess you'll read how that's going in the next 'part'. The great thing about at least making a little more $ than when on unemployment, is I have a little more freedom to socialize. For example, Julie and I got GREAT tickets to see Britney Spears in August. SO EXCITED for that! I know, do I think I'm 12 years old?? LOL.

When It Rains It Pours

Wow, what a day!! I just got back from Wall Street, where I had an interview earlier this afternoon. Originally it was for a part time assistant role to the owner of a technology company. By the time I left, it had become a p/t sales, p/t network marketing coordinator, p/t project manager, p/t PA position, which equals 1 full time job. The money on the outset isn't fantastic, but what attracted me was the opportunity. The base salary itself won't be the bulk of my pay after 3-4 months. I'll be making residual income on my sales which will eventually put me above what I was making at my last full time position where I put in a minimum of 50 hours per week. The partners I met were awesome, and I'm really looking forward to learning a lot. I start next Thursday!

I was online yesterday and put an airline ticket (using my miles) to Vegas on hold. I had it in my head that I was getting this job, no matter what. I did! So today I paid the fees on it and I head out on Saturday, FIRST CLASS! I'll be staying with Alecia, so basically my airline ticket and place to stay total $100!! I'm REALLY looking forward to recharging and letting off some steam and soaking up some sun before heading back to full time work. All of this is so exciting!! On top of that, my Scottish girls are in Vegas right now too!!!

Everything always works out in the end, I had faith that I just had to keep pressing on and the right opportunity would find me. What's funny, is that during my interview today, I received 7, yes SEVEN voicemails regarding other jobs. I thought about it for a minute, and decided to decline them. I like the people at this job and it seems like a great opportunity to make something really big happen. If I threw that out the window for a "possibility", I'd never recover.

SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!

See you Saturday Alecia!!

Song of Happiness

I have to admit it, today didn't start out on a great note. Yesterday afternoon's mail brought me a 3 ton boulder of stress on my shoulders and a 15 foot knot of rope in my stomach, at least that's what it felt like. I woke up this morning and actually shed some tears for the first time in a long time. Logically I know it's okay to cry once in awhile but I guess I've been trying to hold it in and keep pushing forward with my head to the ground and I figured once I had actual income, I'd let myself "let it all out" once and for all. I broke this morning.

My friend Lisa is getting married today on St. Thomas and I couldn't be there, I sent in my paperwork to sell my 401k and got a letter from Unemployment about my benefits being close to over. I could go on.

But after a lovely protein shake and a shower, I decided today was the day. I was actually feeling somewhat confident despite my tears. First off, I received a call about a great part time job that is hiring this week that I'm HOPING for. Then I got ready, got dressed in a nice business outfit, packed up my marketing materials and set out to go business to business for Energy Depot. My friend *we'll call him CC* is in sales, so he gave me some really useful pointers. He told me to hit 10 businesses. Just 10, and see how I feel. Well, I surpassed it and hit 22! Since I mainly hit restaurants, a lot of owners weren't there during the day. I got the times when they WOULD be and will go back tomorrow and hopefully speak to most if not all of them. I did, however, get one appointment for tomorrow afternoon! I also got a "come back next week" thing. My friend works at that business, so hopefully it pays off. Even though I didn't speak to a lot of owners and make actual presentations, I feel good that I was able to walk into businesses and get that out of the way. Throughout the day I texted CC and he told me to power on. So I did. I feel pretty good even though I didn't make an actual sale today.

I'm back at home now resting my weary feet and getting ready to go see "Tibet In Song", winner of the Special Jury Prize at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival, with my friend Jevon. He offered to treat, bless his heart. I'm skipping Satsang tonight to see it.

We'll see what tomorrow holds!!

Job Listing of the Day

It seems like 2 out of every 10 resumes I send out on Craigslist ads are now fake phishing ads. Really, are you expecting me to believe THIS is an actual job? "Receive my mails"???? Can he not read his own email? What are we to do with these "mails"? LAME!

WORK FROM HOME (NEW YORK)

---

Reply to:see below
Date: 2009-06-01, 12:24PM EDT

Seekers

I am looking for someone who can offer me these services:

Receive My Mails

Ray Robinson

Ray.robinson1@yahoo.com

• Location: NEW YORK
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

HuMMMMus and Girl Time

I love this girl. I can't believe this pic was 3 years ago!! So it's a beautiful 76 degrees today here in New York City. I could NOT sleep last night, or this morning for that matter. So I figured I'd get up and start my morning routine. Visit all the job sites and send out about 30 resumes.

Julie came in from Staten Island today to hang out. I really miss her living on the UES. She brought her adorable little poodle Chloe, whom I've never met before since she couldn't have her in the city. PRECIOUS! First we went to grab lunch at Hummus Kitchen, the best hummus in NYC hands down. She told me all about her upcoming wedding and life in SI (ick, sorry Jules!). Then, of course, I yapped to her about my business (Energy Depot) and shoved some biz cards and information in her hand to distribute in SI to businesses that she or her fiance know of. Yay networking! We finished up with some Turkish coffee and then took Chloe over to the dog park at Carl Schurz on the East River. I fell in love a tiny bit with a little Maltese. Chloe was so exhausted she couldn't even fetch the ball toward the end of the day so we headed back home.

Catching up with 2 GREAT girlfriends this weekend that I haven't spent time with in such a long time has me feeling pretty blessed.

Reinvigorated! (What a big word for such a tiny blog)

I just had the best evening I've had in awhile. I'm a little amped, so I figured I'd take a few minutes to blog out everything on my mind.

My friend Natalia got me signed up with a focus group tonight that paid $20 (don't laugh, it's more than I've earned in the past month, LOL). I told my friend Moira, who I haven't seen in MONTHS, and she was down to do it too and then do dinner after to catch up.

The focus group was simple, lasted about an hour, and afterward we went to grab some sushi. (Celeb sighting - Dawnn Lewis from that show A Different World with Lisa Bonet, remember her?) I heard all about what Moira's dealing with right now personally and professionally, and I guess there really wasn't much to update her on about my situation... except for the business I started (and have been procrastinating upon). She was actually excited about it. That, in turn, renewed my excitement. She even wants to join the business too! We started tossing around ideas and came up with the plan to form a partnership. I think we're both at the ends of our collective ropes about working for other people and we're ready to branch out and be successful for ourselves instead of just making money for everyone else.

I'm already in the process of setting up my work schedule for next week, and now that I've BLOGGED it too, I literally have no excuse. I know she'll hold me accountable too, which helps immensely. I think maybe feeding off each other and reminding each other about the pay off will help so much with the success of the business. We've already begun devising plans of action.

After meditation and chanting last night, I was feeling refreshed spiritually, and after tonight I'm feeling refreshed for work action.

I'm not sure if anyone listened to the radio show I was on this morning. I wasn't particularly impressed with the suggestions given to me by the Life Coach. The 2 items of 'homework' I was given were, and I'm not meaning to be hypercritical here, irrelevant. I was told I should #1 see a therapist about my depression - no shit Sherlock - but who exactly is footing the bill? I'M UNEMPLOYED REMEMBER?? The 2nd piece of advice was to make a list of things to do daily including work - umm, she obviously does not know me, I'm the QUEEN of list making. I'm a personal assistant for goodness sake's. I'm a compulsive list maker, I have lists ALL over my apartment. On my wall, in my Blackberry, in Outlook, written in notebooks, and it's gotten me nowhere so far. Wow, that sounded a little OCD huh?

Anyway, enough about that. Moira has become my new life coach for now. (Don't tell her that she could be charging me!!)

Strength

I guess this entry, and this week, is about strength and persistence. The ability to keep going and be positive even though god has thrown a 2 ton burning pile of shi* in my path.

Where do I begin? Well I have been calling the unemployment office for 2 days trying to get a reservation for a certain class that was tonight. That's the only way you can get in. I'm going to try again to get a real estate license and let NY pay for it. I found out there's another class next week in the morning that doesn't require a reservation, so I'm going to show up and pray they let me in. If not, I'll go in anyway.

Then, one of the jobs I've been interviewing for. Two interviews each almost 2 hours long. I had my 2nd interview last Thursday. They told me they'd call me Saturday to let me know. Nothing. I finally decided to call them today to find out the status. Turns out they hired a friend of theirs to do the job, and if it doesn't work out they'll give me a call. GEE THANKS! Could they maybe have figured that out BEFORE wasting my time? I can't stand inconsiderate people.

You know, I've been able to sell this energy (Energy Depot - see below if I've lost you on this one) for a while now. And since I vowed to be honest in this blog, I'll admit I haven't done anything about it. Well that might be a BIT harsh. I've done the webinars, talked with reps, printed out materials, ordered biz cards, prep prep prep. I just haven't gone out and SOLD it. I've been at the point where I've gotten up and dressed and ready to go, briefcase full, and then just couldn't get out the door. Am I afraid of success? Afraid of failure? Or just AFRAID. I don't know!

I know I definitely have a self-confidence issue right now. But who wouldn't in my position? Laid off for 5 1/2 months with no income. To be honest, it's humiliating. My friends go out, go on trips, and I can't be a part of pretty much any of it. Believe me I don't blame THEM, I'm not here to point fingers, I'm just saying that I wish I could be doing all of those things too. It's spring/summer in NYC, the BEST!!! Hamptons, weekend trips, rooftop happy hours! It makes me sad.

I saw an ad on Craigslist a few weeks ago about a free Life Coach. I had taken the email address down but never made contact. Last night I finally wrote to her because I'm feeling so blocked. They contacted me this morning and I spoke to the producer for about 30 minutes. At the end, she invited me to be a guest on her radio show on Friday! How crazy is that? If you want to hear me humiliate myself, contact me and I'll give you the website address to catch the radio show streaming. I'll be on at 11:30am Eastern Time, but you can listen on the website at any time. Here's hoping she can give me that *push* I need!

All in all, I will not give up, I will get through this, I WILL come out on top.

Au Revoir!